Saturday, May 19, 2012

Evolution of a Name and an Explanation

I probably should explain the (admittedly somewhat confusing) title of this blog. This will require me to discuss the evolution of the book's title. As of right now, I plan to call the book Conversations Concerning our Condition: What Bipolar is Really Like.

The day that I decided to write a book, I was fairly high on life. Higher than I had been in a long, long while. So, I naturally decided to ask my hypomania why she had been gone for so long. (Please don't ask me why hypomania is a woman). She gave me some bogus response, something about being too busy bothering other people to pay me much mind. Of course, I didn't buy it. I wanted to really know why I had not received my normally annual spring hypomania this year.

Well, the answer to that riddle probably involves my medication, which sadly works better against my highs than it does my lows. But it doesn't matter. The point was that I was attempting to talk to my bipolar disorder. Which got me to thinking, if bipolar disorder could engage us in conversation, what could we learn from it?

I cannot converse directly with bipolar disorder, but I can analyze my own experiences, and I can collect other people's stories. The day that I decided to write the book, I realized that this was the next best thing. Since talking with bipolar disorder is such an intriguing idea, I decided to title the book Conversations With our Illness: What Bipolar is Really Like.

A few days passed, and that title started to sound ridiculous to me. Conversations with our illness? As exciting as it would be to talk to bipolar disorder, I will never be able to do that. I decided to re-title the project Conversations Concerning our Illness: What Bipolar is Really Like.  I then realized that I could make the title even more alliterative by changing "illness" to "condition".  Thus, Conversations Concerning our Condition.

When I started this blog, I momentarily forgot that we were speaking about bipolar rather than directly with it and accidentally named it "Conversations with our Condition". This was after I had decided to use the word "condition".

So, there is a reason why the blog has such a strange title. I hope that you all will forgive me for it. It does have it's own kind of odd charm though, right....? ;)

If you are so inclined, let me know what you think of the book's current prospective title. Is the alliteration cute, or is it annoying?  Does anyone have any alternative suggestions? Thanks!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Welcome to the Conversation!

Hello; my name is Sara.  Welcome to my blog, Conversations with our Condition. Here you will find documentation of a journey that is just about to begin. This summer, I will write a book, and I will share my progress via this blog.

I'm sure that you have plenty of questions at this point. Who am I? What is the topic of my book? Why am I writing it? What makes me think that I am qualified to write it?

I am a rising college junior at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. I am studying neurobiology and psychology, and I hope to ultimately attend medical school to become a psychiatrist. The human mind, in health and disease, fascinates me (but especially in disease).

Given this information, it shouldn't be too surprising that the book will focus on bipolar disorder, a common mental illness that afflicts between 1-6% of the population, depending on how it is defined. Bipolar is a disease of highs and lows, called manias and depressions. I have a special interest in bipolar disorder because I deal with it myself. Which brings up the topic of my qualifications...I am not yet a psychiatrist. I have not even finished undergrad. What makes me think that I can write an informed, credible book on bipolar disorder?

I have lived with this illness for nearly 9 years, since I was 12. I know what it is like to descend into deep depressions, and I've flown through thrilling hypomanias. I am not an expert on bipolar disorder. I am, however,  an expert on my own experience. This experience alone does not qualify me to write a book on bipolar, but I believe that it is a start.

I enjoy learning new things, and my experience has lead me to extensively research this disorder. After my diagnosis a year ago, I have read personal websites, self-help books and scientific research articles in an attempt to understand this condition. I have also participated in an online forum for bipolar individuals (the bipolar forum at www.psychcentral.com, an excellent resource), still seeking a greater understanding of bipolar disorder. I felt (and still feel) that I cannot learn enough about this disorder.

It was during this research quest that I realized that something was missing from the bookshelves of libraries and stores. I learned a lot about this illness simply by experiencing it and discussing it with other people who struggle with bipolar, but this type of knowledge could not be gleaned from traditional books on bipolar. That was when the idea of writing a book of my own first entered my head.

Like all books on bipolar, my book will clearly explain the phenomenon, will define depression and hypomania, will describe what is and what isn't seen in this disorder. But, it will do all of this through the stories and experiences of those who live with the illness. If I am successful, people who read my book will know more than just what bipolar disorder is. They will know what it is like to have it.

I cannot complete this project on my own. In order to portray bipolar disorder accurately, I will need wide variety of perspectives. I am currently looking for people to interview, so if you have bipolar please consider being a part of the project. If you are interested, e-mail me at: sestewart2@wisc.edu. If you know people who have bipolar disorder, or who would be interested in this project, please feel free to direct them to this blog! Thanks.